Life as I know it

Dear mam, Writing a simple happy birthday to u did not seem sufficient enough to tell u how much u are loved and adored. You deserve to have the best birthday today and I'm so proud and honoured to call you my mum. You have been the best mum from the first moment you became a mother. I don't know anyone else like you. You are so gentle and caring towards us et u cam become a proper momma bear protecting her cubs and grand cubs when needs be, all my childhood memories are happy ones remembering how many fun adventures and trips you and dad brought us on. You taught us what true love is with your amazing and rare love you have for eachother and for us. You taught us how hard you have to work to get things you want and need. You gave us a strength I never knew possible.you taught us respect and a sense of humour to carry us through the hard times . There has never been a time where you haven't had our back. Never a time when we couldn't have a cuddle or kiss from you an

Mia arrived in 2004. It's hard to believe we started this journey that long ago. Our little baby girl is growing up yet I find myself struggling to think to far ahead. When you have a child with a disability it makes the world a far more scary place. Mia has Aspergers Syndrome. When Mia came into our lives we were 19. Teenagers as Mia now likes to remind us with her funny sense of humour. 'I cant believe you had a baby when you were only a teenager!' she likes to give out to me for that :) .In her mind teenagers are people who wear lots of make up and go out dancing all the time and have no responsibilities.My answer to her is always truthful. 19 is to young Mia to have babies but  God works in mysterious ways and he meant to give you to me.She loves that answer. to me that is the truth. God changed my life at that age. Mia became my reason to live again. To love again. She was perfect.To ease the heart-wrenching sadness we had felt for the year before after loosing my dad.

It's been a busy month so haven't got to write much! The kids are back at school so now I can sit in peace and write :) . We had a very good summer with mia compared to last year and i could feel myself wanting to write about how far we have all come. There was certainly bad days and a new issue for us to deal with. Mia is now suffering the most horrifying panick attacks. Weve not witnessed them before. After thr first one myself and dan were so scared for her and upset ablut how it affected us all we thought god is this how are life is going to keep going? All these new issues for Mia and us as a family to deal with. It made me think about how many 'new issues' we had to deal with over the years and how we had tackled them together and made it through. Thats what aspergers is. A constant merry go round of issues that your child has to learn to deal with and it affects every member of your family. The worst thing you can do is let the negativity take over. It shadows al

Mia is finished july provision and it went really well for her this yr. she loved it. She got to avail of having special needs assistants there all the time. She doesn't have one usually. It was great to see her being comfortable. She bounced into the autism unit everyday chatting away to her friends, real friends that understand her and don't think she's odd or to loud. They're all so excepting of each other is so lovely to see them all be happy. Mias anxiety was quite low which was great. You'd pass the parents dropping their kids of and the smile you would give each other said so much you understood each other and their kids. No judgment. Just acceptance. I felt so relaxed Mia being there. When you have a child like Mia you worry 24/7. It becomes normal to be that way. So a break was great. Some days you wouldn't even see the autism side as much as we would normally. I decided to plan something for August as I knew it was gonna be a long month for Mia and us.

For five years we have talked about someone coming to our house to help us with Mia. Many weekends if not all we've said to each other god home help be great now. For five years we've fought for our daughter to have her right to help her live with her condition. And help for us. Before I started this blog I had fought for years and was tired and we had lost our faith in the system. When I decided to start writing this it was like I had the strength to fight again. I emailed the HSE everyday different people all in the one department. I was done playing nice and having my daughter just be a name on the waiting list. I was done trying to juggle everything and being constantly overwhelmed .last week I got a phone call to tell me that Mia had been granted 4 hours home support. I was shocked and thought it was too good to be true. I was so happy for her. Finally someone was realising what she needed. I met with the autism nurse and Mia's new home worker on Wednesday. I was nerv

I only heard of July provision last yr. had no idea what it was. We were looking at new schools for Mia as her old school felt like they couldn't take her any further as they didn't have the resources. It had been a very hard yr for Mia and us. She wouldn't participate in class, was being bullied and was falling behind in maths in a huge way. So much so her ability was marked the same as junior infants level. She had great teachers but they had tried everything she just couldn't participate in anything.  Four weeks before we decided to change school we were called in and told the school was recommending Mia be put in an autism unit. I was shocked. We both were. We both walked away from the meeting feeling defeated and lost. I decided to join a support group and heard about EducateTogether. They had an autism unit attached and seemed to have more resources. We went up to look at it and straight away I had a good feeling about it.  They told us about July provision.its an

so finally sat down this morning and sent off my email to the hse about getting home suppport for Mia and us.  had written complaints before but had taken a break the last few weeks  but since the blog seems to have taken off i decided id get back to it! After five years of being passed from person to person ive finally had enough its so unfair for Mia and all the other children to be left waiting years for intervention and their families positive start to the day! Have decided each day i will write one positive among the negatives we have had to face recently. Today's positive is that Mia went to school happy, and has decided that her take on 'holy god' must be heard by the priest! she has decided holy god is a 'she' not a 'he' as how would he have been able to give birth to all the people in the world its not possible. she decided to tell me this on the school run this morning all serious reading my dads bible that  was given to me when he died. she had ro

my plan was to write in this blog weekly about our progress with Mia and the fight for services for her. that hasnt really happened its been a hectic few weeks. although saying that its always hectic. we never really get to be relaxed except for maybe the hour or two once all three munchkins are in bed! we finally got to meet the psychiatirst which Mia has been waiting years to see. he agreed Mia s behaviour and condition is extremely challenging for us but ruled out meds for the time being. we were quite relieved about that. i couldnt get my mind or my heart around medication for my little 8yr old. it just didnt seem the right time. i felt like we had to explore every other avenue before having that conversation. we had agreed the night before the psychiatrist app that we would stick together and be very firm that meds was a no-no. we wanted services not a quick fix. i have friends who's kids are on meds and each to their own. i respect their choice they have their own reasons but

19th May 2013 Ten yrs ago today I sat in my room writing a letter to my dad. I was 18 at the time. I, like the rest of my family had no idea what the next ten yrs would bring. It's very painful to look back at those first years when dad left us. They were filled with a lot of tears, raw emotion and heartache. I wrote to him to tell him how much he was loved and how much he would be missed. I had wished at that time that I had taken more time to tell him that. Since then I tell him every day, numerous times a day that I love him and always miss him. I speak to him constantly in my mind during the day and I still turn to him for comfort and support on the hard days. He thought us so many things when he was alive and was all about trying to give me a heads up on the big bad world. The things he thought me have carried me through the last ten yrs. He taught me never to be afraid to show love for your family in anyway. I thank him for teaching him how to love and adore my own children

Aspergers is a major part of my family's life. My daughter Mia has aspergers. She is 8. She was diagnosed at four yrs of age and we still learn something new about her aspergers everyday. She's very bright and an amazing little girl but unfortunately she is crippled with anxiety daily. It rules here Life. I have tried so many things to help her but am now on my last hope before medication may have to be talked about. She is seeing a psychiatrist at the moment and she is trying cognitive behavioural therapy with Mia. In the past I have tried play therapy, homeopathy remedies, stories, psychologists, occupational therapy, autism courses, google, home strategies. You name it ive tried it. I know her anxiety will never go away but I want her to be able to cope with daily life and be happy in herself, when she has anxiety free days it's so nice to see her calm and happy as her mood swings and anxiety rule the dynamic in the house. I feel if I had to put her on medication I woul