Trust your instincts
There is so many things I thought I had got used to as a 'special needs mum'. The feeling of being slightly that bit different to the other mums you know or see at the school gate because your child is different to theirs no matter how much you try to make them included or feel the same as the other kids. A lot of the old feelings I orginally felt when Mia was first diagnosed have resurfaced these last few months as Jack has started a new school. Its all change this year for him and Mia. I watched her begin her journey into Secondary School and becoming a teenager and she is handling it all so amazingly well. Yes shes had her bad days and her struggles but the years of hard work have paid off and she seems to be coping as much as she can. Mia is very good at self care mentally and emotionally. Something we always felt was important to instill in her.
Autism can be so draining at times and I see it on her bad days physically drain her in everyway. I have found the last year so conflicting emotionally. I see her doing so well and beyond all my hopes for her and I am so happy in my heart for her and yet I constantly find myself pulled in two directions as Jack is still very much at the start of his journey in School.
You know by Jacks face when you pick him up in the school yard if it has been a good day or a bad day. He either smiles and runs to you or cries and the whole afternoon is a nightmare. Jack has actually managed the transition to a new school very well. It's the day to day tasks that are an issue for him.
For example if it rains it means sitting in at lunchtime. That means no physical stimulation for him and a lot of noise in a confined space. The days it rains your guaranteed a 'ready for a meltdown Jack'. So to help him I sent in his ear muffs to drown out the noise but he said he felt like the kids were making fun of him so he won't wear them in class now. His teacher is great she puts a film on to keep the noise down or sits him with his friend he plays with. The fact he has a friend fills my heart. He only plays with the girls mostly he finds the boys way to rough and it scares him I think. All the physical contact is to much.
Routine is everything to Jack. Mia can alter her routine slightly as long as it is something she enjoys (lol) but Jack everything has to be the same daily. So that means me never changing the after school routine. When you have been going to Tesco everyday for two years and looking at the same stuff in the aisles it can get draining but thats what he likes while we wait for Ava. Or the park when its dry which has been rare this year! I often think about going back to work but they rely on me so much I am not sure if they would cope. I am their whole world and they have always had me. I know their ways inside out. I am their safe place and they are mine really.
Like I said before the Autism world can be a lonely one because you have to live to your kids world and if your a special needs parent you will know exactly what I mean by that. Mia is only doing so well now because of the work we have put in with her but also because we have listened to her, and worked with her needs. Now we have to do the same with Jack. Autism is a full time job. There is no 9-5, holidays off. It can sometimes take over your life and Its so important to learn balance and step away from time to time. Even if it means squeezing in a coffee date with your hubbie in between school runs, appointments, work anything, we squeeze in dates when ever we can because we have to be a strong couple to raise strong kids. Wine with friends is a major bonus!
Motherhood is so tough but you have to trust your instincts and I think I need to go back and trust mine a bit more. This has been a year of adjusting to new schools and hearing alot of peoples opinions that dont really know my children like me and yet they are as always doing so well because I trusted my instincts and followed my childrens lead. You are your childs best advocate, their voice when they are struggling and their number one cheerleader at all times!.
Autism can be so draining at times and I see it on her bad days physically drain her in everyway. I have found the last year so conflicting emotionally. I see her doing so well and beyond all my hopes for her and I am so happy in my heart for her and yet I constantly find myself pulled in two directions as Jack is still very much at the start of his journey in School.
You know by Jacks face when you pick him up in the school yard if it has been a good day or a bad day. He either smiles and runs to you or cries and the whole afternoon is a nightmare. Jack has actually managed the transition to a new school very well. It's the day to day tasks that are an issue for him.
For example if it rains it means sitting in at lunchtime. That means no physical stimulation for him and a lot of noise in a confined space. The days it rains your guaranteed a 'ready for a meltdown Jack'. So to help him I sent in his ear muffs to drown out the noise but he said he felt like the kids were making fun of him so he won't wear them in class now. His teacher is great she puts a film on to keep the noise down or sits him with his friend he plays with. The fact he has a friend fills my heart. He only plays with the girls mostly he finds the boys way to rough and it scares him I think. All the physical contact is to much.
Routine is everything to Jack. Mia can alter her routine slightly as long as it is something she enjoys (lol) but Jack everything has to be the same daily. So that means me never changing the after school routine. When you have been going to Tesco everyday for two years and looking at the same stuff in the aisles it can get draining but thats what he likes while we wait for Ava. Or the park when its dry which has been rare this year! I often think about going back to work but they rely on me so much I am not sure if they would cope. I am their whole world and they have always had me. I know their ways inside out. I am their safe place and they are mine really.
Like I said before the Autism world can be a lonely one because you have to live to your kids world and if your a special needs parent you will know exactly what I mean by that. Mia is only doing so well now because of the work we have put in with her but also because we have listened to her, and worked with her needs. Now we have to do the same with Jack. Autism is a full time job. There is no 9-5, holidays off. It can sometimes take over your life and Its so important to learn balance and step away from time to time. Even if it means squeezing in a coffee date with your hubbie in between school runs, appointments, work anything, we squeeze in dates when ever we can because we have to be a strong couple to raise strong kids. Wine with friends is a major bonus!
Motherhood is so tough but you have to trust your instincts and I think I need to go back and trust mine a bit more. This has been a year of adjusting to new schools and hearing alot of peoples opinions that dont really know my children like me and yet they are as always doing so well because I trusted my instincts and followed my childrens lead. You are your childs best advocate, their voice when they are struggling and their number one cheerleader at all times!.
Comments
Post a Comment