A letter to my 12year old daughter
Dear Mia,
In 4 days time you will turn 12 and I as your mother am in total denial. The last few days I find myself looking at you and wishing I could freeze time and keep you 11. Its the age before you hit the full blown teenage phase and I get to keep you small and cuddly for a while longer. I know you think I am mad because you keep saying to me 'Mam I have to grow up I am gonna be 12 I cant wait!' and every time you say it I squeeze you that bit tighter and kiss you ten times over and say 'no no no I want you as my baby forever!' You laugh and nudge me away and again call me mad but always say 'I wove you mam' with that infectious smile you have and I wonder how much longer you will say that to me. See that's the thing about you turning 12 Mia you are well on your way to being a teenager now and not the little girl I still see in my eyes. 'Wove you' has been our words to each other since time you could talk. You say it to me at least ten times a day and get really annoyed if I don't repeat it no matter were I am or what I am doing. Each time you say it it makes my heart burst that I have a daughter that loves me like you and Ava do. When you were born you changed my life forever. You turning 12 has brought up lots of memories for me and has reminded me of how far we have all come. You were my first baby girl and when they placed you in my arms in the hospital I remember thinking wow so this is what true love feels like. I had never felt love like it. At 19 you turned me from a teenager to a Mother and taught me what life is really all about. We have always had such a close bond. We have always been open to each other. Life has not been easy for you or us. I know how different you feel to all the other kids your age. We have always been open with you about having Aspergers Syndrome because even from a small age we wanted to teach you being different is acceptable and it is a good thing. Over the years I have watched you suffer so much trying to come to terms with having Aspergers syndrome and having massive anxiety attacks and as your mother at times all I wanted to do was jump into your brain and see what was going on inside to help you. When you were diagnosed when you were 4 I made it my goal in life to do everything I could that you would get the help you needed because your my baby and my world and deserved to have a great life. There were times over the years that I honestly didn't think we would see days like we see now. To see you now so happy in school and so content in day to day life really makes my heart burst with love for you. When you were so badly bullied and so withdrawn 3 years ago I wished and prayed for these days.When we took you out of school and I had to home school you were so brave and so determined to work through everything. You have such an inner strength to get through life no matter what. I will treasure those days. We have always had a unique relationship and as I have always tried to teach you being different is a good thing. If we were all the same how boring would the world be?
You have developed into the most caring and loving girl. I love your ten hugs a day. I love your funny stories, I love your constant text messages, you brighten up my mornings. I want you to know that you think that as your mother I am meant to teach you all about life but actually Mia you have taught me everything about Life these last 12 years. You have taught me strength that I didn't know I had, passion , to never give up, to push through fear and to always show love.
Life is so short and we only get one. You have come through a lot in these last 12 years and I wanted you to know how proud we are of you .
I know next year is going to be challenging because you will start a whole new journey into secondary and then you will be a full on teenager who probably wont want to hug me half as much but I want you to always have this letter so you know that I love you, am so so proud of you and I am blessed to be your mum
WOVE YOU XX
MAM XXX
In 4 days time you will turn 12 and I as your mother am in total denial. The last few days I find myself looking at you and wishing I could freeze time and keep you 11. Its the age before you hit the full blown teenage phase and I get to keep you small and cuddly for a while longer. I know you think I am mad because you keep saying to me 'Mam I have to grow up I am gonna be 12 I cant wait!' and every time you say it I squeeze you that bit tighter and kiss you ten times over and say 'no no no I want you as my baby forever!' You laugh and nudge me away and again call me mad but always say 'I wove you mam' with that infectious smile you have and I wonder how much longer you will say that to me. See that's the thing about you turning 12 Mia you are well on your way to being a teenager now and not the little girl I still see in my eyes. 'Wove you' has been our words to each other since time you could talk. You say it to me at least ten times a day and get really annoyed if I don't repeat it no matter were I am or what I am doing. Each time you say it it makes my heart burst that I have a daughter that loves me like you and Ava do. When you were born you changed my life forever. You turning 12 has brought up lots of memories for me and has reminded me of how far we have all come. You were my first baby girl and when they placed you in my arms in the hospital I remember thinking wow so this is what true love feels like. I had never felt love like it. At 19 you turned me from a teenager to a Mother and taught me what life is really all about. We have always had such a close bond. We have always been open to each other. Life has not been easy for you or us. I know how different you feel to all the other kids your age. We have always been open with you about having Aspergers Syndrome because even from a small age we wanted to teach you being different is acceptable and it is a good thing. Over the years I have watched you suffer so much trying to come to terms with having Aspergers syndrome and having massive anxiety attacks and as your mother at times all I wanted to do was jump into your brain and see what was going on inside to help you. When you were diagnosed when you were 4 I made it my goal in life to do everything I could that you would get the help you needed because your my baby and my world and deserved to have a great life. There were times over the years that I honestly didn't think we would see days like we see now. To see you now so happy in school and so content in day to day life really makes my heart burst with love for you. When you were so badly bullied and so withdrawn 3 years ago I wished and prayed for these days.When we took you out of school and I had to home school you were so brave and so determined to work through everything. You have such an inner strength to get through life no matter what. I will treasure those days. We have always had a unique relationship and as I have always tried to teach you being different is a good thing. If we were all the same how boring would the world be?
You have developed into the most caring and loving girl. I love your ten hugs a day. I love your funny stories, I love your constant text messages, you brighten up my mornings. I want you to know that you think that as your mother I am meant to teach you all about life but actually Mia you have taught me everything about Life these last 12 years. You have taught me strength that I didn't know I had, passion , to never give up, to push through fear and to always show love.
Life is so short and we only get one. You have come through a lot in these last 12 years and I wanted you to know how proud we are of you .
I know next year is going to be challenging because you will start a whole new journey into secondary and then you will be a full on teenager who probably wont want to hug me half as much but I want you to always have this letter so you know that I love you, am so so proud of you and I am blessed to be your mum
WOVE YOU XX
MAM XXX
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