Being a good mom is good enough
as a mother I am always wondering am I good enough, Am I doing a good enough job. I climb into bed every night and I always turn to my husband and say "I feel bad for saying so and so to Mia, Ava and Jack today and I'll try again tomorro". That mindset has always been there. He says I always pick out the negative thing I did and I could have done lots of positive things that day. Nearly 12 years ago I became a mother and not one of those days have I ever been "mother guilt free". That guilt is there constantly. The constant self doubt I give myself on whether I'm good enough or up to the challenge. It's the most difficult job.
My friends and I always say its so tough. And yet so rewarding. Not one of those days have I not felt that overwhelming love for my kids for even the slightest thing they may done like just coming over and hugging me with out me asking. That Tiny show of affection melts any mothers heart because really it's simple. My kids are my world. My life. My reason for breathing. Although I'm starting to really find the summer holidays a struggle (they are CONSTANTLY around me to the point I can't even hide in the bathroom for 2 minutes!) when they aren't there I find myself starting to think in a few short years they will be teenagers and won't want to hang out of me, or ask me question after endless question, or Hop into my bed for cuddles every Morning. That frightens me.
It makes my heart beat a bit faster and makes my eyes water because no matter how much I doubt myself, I know I am the only mam they have and for all my mistakes that I make I have got positives, they are happy kids over all, they are loving, polite and have a way of the seeing the world that totally intrigues me. I like to think I see the world like them to. I hope they remember the positives more than the negatives. Motherhood is my job and my passion. Yes it's tough but I love it.
Sometimes when I look at the 3 little people depending on me I want to freeze time. All to soon they will be bigger and I'll be chasing after them for cuddles and conversation. Life is funny that way. So for now I hug them a bit longer, I try be in the moment with them and make as many good memories as possible. They only get one childhood.
My friends and I always say its so tough. And yet so rewarding. Not one of those days have I not felt that overwhelming love for my kids for even the slightest thing they may done like just coming over and hugging me with out me asking. That Tiny show of affection melts any mothers heart because really it's simple. My kids are my world. My life. My reason for breathing. Although I'm starting to really find the summer holidays a struggle (they are CONSTANTLY around me to the point I can't even hide in the bathroom for 2 minutes!) when they aren't there I find myself starting to think in a few short years they will be teenagers and won't want to hang out of me, or ask me question after endless question, or Hop into my bed for cuddles every Morning. That frightens me.
It makes my heart beat a bit faster and makes my eyes water because no matter how much I doubt myself, I know I am the only mam they have and for all my mistakes that I make I have got positives, they are happy kids over all, they are loving, polite and have a way of the seeing the world that totally intrigues me. I like to think I see the world like them to. I hope they remember the positives more than the negatives. Motherhood is my job and my passion. Yes it's tough but I love it.
Sometimes when I look at the 3 little people depending on me I want to freeze time. All to soon they will be bigger and I'll be chasing after them for cuddles and conversation. Life is funny that way. So for now I hug them a bit longer, I try be in the moment with them and make as many good memories as possible. They only get one childhood.
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