Autism has made us who we are

Since today is autism awareness day i decided to write about how autism has made us as a family who we are. i had never even  heard the word autism until my daughters creche and pediatrician mentioned it to me. Mia was one when she was first thought to be a bit delayed in her development. At least that's how it all started but really from the time Mia was a baby Autism was always going to be a part of our lives we just weren't aware of it yet. i still remember myself and Daniel and my mum looking up the word on the internet.. it felt like looking at a foreign language. surely Mia couldn't be autistic? But as we read on it was all at once clear Mia was very much showing the signs of Aspergers Syndrome. When you go through the process of having your child assessed it is a lonely and frightening journey. Its not a world your used to. Pediatricians, Psychologists, OT's, Psychiatrists, doctors all telling you your child has a disability. you feel winded yet relieved. Then you feel grieve and anger that god has changed the plan you had for your baby. You think to yourself this isn't what i had planned. i wanted her to be 'normal' and happy. Its all very negative at the start. You basically come to a cross roads in your head and if you go left you feed into the word 'disability and all the negative thinking that goes with it or go right and take the positive road and use the word 'ability'. after a few days of crying and lots of talking we took the positive route and vowed to each other we would never let Mia down and also to always be a team. She was gonna have to fight a lot harder than other kids to find happiness and understanding in this world. That was 6  and a half years ago. its been six years of fighting for any service we could get. 6 years of putting Mia first to try get her to be able to function in this society. its been a hard six years and there has been so many days were i have felt such heart break for my daughter and cried so loud i thought my walls would shatter.  we have never let Mia see us upset. It is not her that is the issue it is the lack of services and peoples understanding that hurt the most. Ignorance is the main issue. It drives me insane and its one issue that really angers me. Some People look at us and our family and say god how do they cope with her if Mia is having a bad day. the answer is always the same' We don't 'cope' we are actually fighting tooth and nail day in and day out for our daughter to be accepted along with her challenges. There is no coping. i call it learning. Mia teaches us every single day new ways to help her and learn. Education is everything. Mia has never disappointed me.If Mia is having a bad day and is struggling with the environment around her then she lashes out be it screaming or being rude. Her brain is not like our brains. it does not have the skills to explain social skills or acceptable ways to behave. This behaviour is her way of saying 'i'm overloaded i need space now!' People don't get that even after we've explained it  a thousand times.  She has been my teacher the last 6 and half years. she has turned us into the parents we are. she has taught us to have more patience then you would ever think possible, more courage to fight for what is right even if people don't want to listen. She has bonded us a family. We are very lucky we are a team and support each other 100 percent. Our children come first every single time. sometimes that means not being able to have as many friends or going out to family events or having much alone time but once our kids are happy we are. Its the little moments of love and happiness that mean the most to us. Mia has taught her younger sister acceptance of children who are not like her.  To me i don't think we would be the parents we are if we didn't have autism in our lives. Mia having Aspergers is not a disability. To me its an amazing gift she has to change this world and the people in it. Learn about autism. Learn to accept and not ignore. Us as parents are so proud of her and ourselves for the way we are raising Mia but never doubt how isolating it is on the bad days or how much work we do just to get Mia to smile when shes struggling. Anxiety is a huge part of Aspergers. It is in some ways the horrible part to witness. When you watch your child hyperventilate and cry for hours you cant help but cry silently with them as you hold them. She feels so misunderstood at times and i feel  that for her. BUT i know for a fact Mia will tackle this as she gets older. We teach her to accept herself for who she is. To us she is perfect. We just need people to educate themselves. As parents support is everything to us. It's the back bone we rely on. So support anyone you know that has autism in the family. Don't ignore it. Awareness is everything

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